{"id":1898,"date":"2015-02-24T00:04:44","date_gmt":"2015-02-23T23:04:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/centrepsico-lleida.es\/?p=1898"},"modified":"2018-06-08T00:36:00","modified_gmt":"2018-06-07T22:36:00","slug":"50-maneres-dentendre-les-relacions-de-parella","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/centrepsico-lleida.es\/ca\/50-maneres-dentendre-les-relacions-de-parella\/","title":{"rendered":"50 maneres d&#8217;entendre les relacions de parella"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Amb la estrena de la pel\u00b7l\u00edcula de \u201c50 ombres de grey\u201d basada en la trilogia de E.L. James, la pol\u00e8mica sobre els missatges que tant els llibres com la pel\u00b7l\u00edcula envia a les dones i sobretot la preocupaci\u00f3 pel que aquesta transmet a les m\u00e9s joves, <strong>ha dividit la xarxa en opinions sobre si la narrativa te contingut masclista o no<\/strong>. Les opinions sobre els missatges que envia \u00e9s dicot\u00f2mica, hi han dos clars b\u00e0ndols: uns\/es defensen que no \u00e9s masclista i que Anastasia Steele \u00e9s capa\u00e7 de dir que no i que per tant \u00e9s fins i tot una dona apoderada i assertiva, i d\u2019altres que el masclisme, representat pel control, l\u2019a\u00efllament, el paternalisme i la intoler\u00e0ncia hi s\u00f3n presents en tota la hist\u00f2ria.<\/p>\n<p>Abans d\u2019introduir la meva opini\u00f3 com a dona i psic\u00f2loga vull emmarcar-la totalment en la meva subjectivitat, per tant, podreu estar d\u2019acord o no i cada opini\u00f3 \u00e9s tan v\u00e0lida com la meva. Tan s\u00f2ls demano que em llegiu des d\u2019una \u00f2ptica cr\u00edtica constructivista i fer-vos pensar. No dir\u00e9 res que no hagin dit ja la resta de terapeutes, periodistes, entitats de dones o joves, ja que igual que tots\/es m\u2019he llegit els llibres i en tinc una opini\u00f3, per\u00f2 tractar\u00e9 de trencar la dualitat i referir que entenc per cert d\u2019una visi\u00f3 i de l\u2019altra.<\/p>\n<p>Per comen\u00e7ar confesso que jo aposto per la lectura. <strong>Llegir \u00e9s fant\u00e0stic<\/strong>, i penso que l\u2019adjectiu no podria ser m\u00e9s encertat en aquest cas, ja que <strong>llegir ens endinsa en una FANTASIA<\/strong>. La LECTURA \u00e9s per tant una finestra per la que treus el cap, i que et mostra un paisatge diferent que et distraur\u00e0, aquesta \u00e9s la finalitat. No obstant, <strong>sin\u00f3 tenim el nostre esperit cr\u00edtic desenvolupat<\/strong>, per immaduresa i sobretot en aquest cas, sin\u00f3 identifiquem els nostres propis pensaments m\u00e0gics (contaminats pel marc social i cultural) <strong>podem caure quan hi traiem el cap<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>No obstant, penso que la lectura dels llibres va fer una bona labor en \u201cdespertar\u201d l\u2019inter\u00e8s per la literatura erotica i aquesta virtut en un llibre, \u00e9s inq\u00fcestionable. <strong>Crec que qualsevol llibre que desperti o alimenti el desig sexual de les dones, i de les parelles, tal i com repercuteix la crisis en la libido social actual, \u00e9s s\u00e0<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Per\u00f2 anem a <strong>analitzar la historia \u201cd\u2019amor\u201d m\u00e9s enll\u00e0 de les relacions sexuals que mantenen i la pres\u00e8ncia del sadomasoquisme i el <em>bondage<\/em><\/strong>. Com a psic\u00f2loga he de senyalar que les pr\u00e0ctiques sexuals que el llibre anomena no s\u00f3n paraf\u00edlies (desviacions sexuals) i <strong>s\u00f3n practicades per moltes persones adultes, en elles la dominaci\u00f3 \u00e9s consentida i forma part del joc sexual d\u2019ambdues persones adultes<\/strong>. Evidentment la necessitat de dominaci\u00f3 est\u00e0 relacionada amb les inhibicions internes del subm\u00eds, que s\u2019alliberen quan \u00e9s l\u2019altre qui exerceix aquest control. Ara b\u00e9, ho he simplificat per fer-ho entenedor i perqu\u00e8 no desitjo desviar-me del tema que ens ocupa: <strong>la descripci\u00f3 de les relacions rom\u00e0ntiques que mostra E.L. James<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00c9s en aquesta part on hi veig el risc, en com el llibre descriu l\u2019AMOR, no en la possibilitat de que les tendes de bricolatge \u00e9s col\u00b7lapsin de compradors\/es de cordes, brides o cinta a\u00efllant per les seves practiques sexuals<\/strong>. All\u00e0 cada adult amb les seves lliures eleccions!<\/p>\n<p>El risc est\u00e0 en el que transmetem als joves sobre qu\u00e8 \u00e9s l\u2019AMOR. Recentment un estudi del CIS (Centre d\u2019Investigacions Sociol\u00f2giques) ens feia posar el crit al cel, deixant clar que segons l\u2019informe, <strong>1 de cada 3 dones joves considera que \u00e9s acceptable que la seva parella les CONTROLI<\/strong>. L\u2019estudi posa de manifest aquest poc esperit cr\u00edtic i aquesta acceptaci\u00f3 t\u00e0cita i insidiosa de conductes masclistes com el domini i el control.<\/p>\n<p>Si, Anastasia Steele diu que no (no obstant, tan s\u00f2ls recordo una sola ocasi\u00f3), per\u00f2 la t\u00f2nica conductual del seu enamorat Cristian Grey, \u00e9s controlar amb qui es relaciona Anastasia, com ha de vestir, com s\u2019ha d\u2019alimentar, quan ha de fer esport i com s\u2019ha de comportar, i quan no ho fa la castiga, per tant hi hem de sumar la por que sovint descriu que sent la protagonista i la tensi\u00f3 permanent en la que es troba quan intenta intuir quin \u00e9s l\u2019estat d\u2019\u00e0nim de l\u2019herm\u00e8tic i insalubre Grey. De fet, la infantilitza de tal manera des del paternalisme, que la intel\u00b7ligent estudiant amb una prometedora carrera pren decisions que us convido a identificar ja que no referir\u00e9 per si alg\u00fa no ha llegit la trilogia. He llegit en algun blog que per molt que des del feminisme \u00e9s critiqui aquesta relaci\u00f3, aix\u00f2 es el que volem les dones: un home poder\u00f3s i dominant. Evidentment discrepo, per una banda perqu\u00e8 <strong>nosaltres, les dones, tamb\u00e9 creiem en la autorealitzaci\u00f3 personal<\/strong> (segons Maslow no \u00e9s una necessitat \u00fanicament masculina) i reitero que penso que a les dones ens encanta <strong>ser lliures en parella<\/strong>, i encara que soni antag\u00f2nic, aix\u00f2 \u00e9s possible i la nostra experi\u00e8ncia com a psic\u00f2logues de Centre PsiCo que realitzem ter\u00e0pia de parella ho pot ratificar. <strong>L\u2019amor \u00e9s COMUNICACI\u00d3 no inseguretat, \u00e9s CONFIAN\u00c7A no gelosia<\/strong> (de nou relacionada amb la inseguretat) i \u00e9s LLIBERTAT i RESPECTE per l\u2019altra persona, no CONTROL de l\u2019altre com si fos una propietat en comptes d\u2019una persona amb els seus alts i baixos i les seves necessitats, <strong>i sobretot \u00e9s IGUALTAT i no SACRIFICI I PATIMENT<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Tot i que em podria estendre m\u00e9s us desitjo fer pensar sobre aix\u00f2 darrer: l\u2019amor no \u00e9s sacrifici ni patiment i com a mostra us recomano un conte de WALTER RISO \u201cLa princesa\u201d que ens recorda que, la frase <strong><em>\u201cquien bien te quiere te har\u00e1 llorar\u201d<\/em><\/strong> , de nou forma part de l\u2019absurd marc cultural, ja <strong>que qui t\u2019estima, et vol veure feli\u00e7 ni que aquesta felicitat no sigui al seu costat<\/strong> perqu\u00e8 tu no sents el mateix. <strong>L\u2019amor \u00e9s S\u00c0, la Obsessi\u00f3 i el Control NO<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Amb la estrena de la pel\u00b7l\u00edcula de \u201c50 ombres de grey\u201d basada en la trilogia de E.L. James, la pol\u00e8mica sobre els missatges que tant els llibres com la pel\u00b7l\u00edcula envia a les dones i sobretot la preocupaci\u00f3 pel que aquesta transmet a les m\u00e9s joves, ha dividit la xarxa [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":1885,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"left-sidebar","site-content-layout":"plain-container","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"default","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_joinchat":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1898","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized-ca"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>50 maneres d&#039;entendre les relacions de parella - Centre Integral PsiCo Lleida<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/centrepsico-lleida.es\/ca\/50-maneres-dentendre-les-relacions-de-parella\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ca_ES\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"50 maneres d&#039;entendre les relacions de parella - Centre Integral PsiCo Lleida\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Amb la estrena de la pel\u00b7l\u00edcula de \u201c50 ombres de grey\u201d basada en la trilogia de E.L. 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